Sal Limones

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Posts posted by Sal Limones

  1. Posted

    Gwardinen, what is it about the current situation specifically that makes you unhappy? Is it the fact that you're not her primary, or is it that she has another guy at all? Or that you don't think she feels about you the same way you feel about her?

    And then after you identify what makes you sad: what exactly would you change about the whole arrangement in order to be happy? Do you think she'd be happy as well?

  2. Posted

    Man, Sal, you bring it HARD. With your blessing, I may PM you later with something on a related topic that's been bugging me but is a bit sensitive to put in a public thread.

    Absolutely!

    you do have a relationship with her, too. A weird one, true, but a relationship, non-the-less. And I'd hope there's some trust there... right?

    Yes, but then this begs the following questions: why does it seem like "hey I love you for reals" is a Big Reveal that is dramatic and unacceptable? Is it because Gwardinen wants to be the primary? Because he wants a monogamous relationship with her? The way he's going about it gives me the feeling that he expects this to rock the boat. So, it would be wiser and more graceful to wait until the immediate primary problems are resolved or done away with, and in the meantime continue in the same role he is already (friend, but with benefits obvs).

    My only concern is that you might be turning yourself into a martyr by trying to be a good "friend"... when really you have ulterior motives. If you can genuinely be her friend, then cool, but I worry that you'll slowly convince yourself that any deeper friendship that might develop is signs of her falling for you. That doesn't seem to me to be a good place to be.

    This is an excellent point in general, but maybe not quite applicable in this situation, since his friend status is kind of more in the relationship area than entirely platonic. So the ulterior motives have kind of already been accomplished. I would like to clarify here that when I said to step back and be there for her, I don't mean to lose the intimacy you already have with her. Basically just keep doing what you're doing but don't get in the middle of the fight. Sorry if I was unclear because this is important!

    We still need to know what Gwardinen wants the outcome to be, exactly.

    I can't agree that he's not involved in this relationship. He's her regular second and friends with both of them. I'd say that's very involved! Granted, it's not a poly relationship that he's actually a member of, just an open one that he's connected to.

    That's the tricky bit. He's in a relationship with Girl A. The relationship he is a part of is Girl A - Guy B. Relationship A-A does not involve him, so problems between A and A are not his to meddle with, just as Girl B should not meddle with A-A. The fact that Girl B sort of got in the middle between A-A by virtue of Guy A keeping a secret and messing with finances is what caused trouble in the first place.

    What Gwardinen should be concerned with is only the feelings of himself and Girl A towards Gwardinen on an intimate level, and Guy A on a purely platonic friend level (to whatever capacity Gwardinen is comfortable with).

    edit: \/\/\/ aahhh your cousin is adorable!

  3. Posted

    Maybe it might be a good idea to pick a side? Speak truth to power? I dunno. What do others think? Sal?

    Whoooa no. No, hell no.

    :tup:, especially that last part.

    I think you're best off giving them some space at first, which is hard when your romantic feelings are probably urging you to do something do something now solve this. Trying to influence things, early on at least, is probably inviting trouble. Maybe just let her know you're there, you give a shit and you're not being neglectful. Definitely don't lay down any potentially pressure laden terms like "I love you"; I don't know what kind of person she is, but raising the stakes or making her feel more responsible for the way you feel will likely not help.

    Yes. Yes, this exactly.

    I really need to have a full sit down talk with her soon, ask her exactly how she feels and thinks, short term and long, about him and me and everything. I also get the feeling, from what you guys have said and one of my few friends I could turn to who doesn't know the couple agrees, that I need to put across my feelings for her in really, really plain terms. As Dan said, I hate the idea of an ultimatum, but at the very least I need to tell her how I feel and how much this situation is bothering me.

    NOPE NOPE NOPE ABORT.

    I know it's hard to leave the situation alone, because you feel so deeply invested in it, but although it seems counterintuitive to think so, it really has nothing to do with you. I know, right? It's crazy! But it involves a relationship that does not involve you, only Girl A and Guy A (you are Guy B, for future reference). Now is not a good time to lay your feelings out there, because Girl A currently has a full plate of shit to deal with from Guy A. Talking to her about your needs will divest the weight from your shoulders, but it will put it all on her.

    My suggestion is you distance yourself for a little bit while this all sorts itself out. Be there for her, and for him, as a friend. Offer to do friend-things for her, like, I dunno, invite her out for coffee or something. If she wants to talk, she will talk. If she doesn't, don't force her, and definitely don't pile your problems on.

    As for your own situation, I don't think you're in a very good place. Consider that, even if her relationship with Guy A dissolves, she is still polyamorous. If she decides to enter into a relationship with you, this is most likely not going to change. You have to really examine your feelings about it: would you be okay with that? Do you accept this part of her, or are you just suffering through it to be with her? While you wait for them to sort their things out, think about your own priorities and needs. Think about whether being in an open relationship is something you want, or something you tolerate. If it's the latter, then it's probably not all that good for you.

    Also keep in mind this other thing you said:

    unsure about whether I could actually successfully pursue a proper full-time relationship even if it was available.

    So, if you were to tell this girl how you feel, what would you even want the answer to be?

  6. Posted

    Okay, okay, all right there, okay now. How about you leave the complaining to grown men who can't find a job and are stuck in a housing market with zero mobility. All right? GROWN MEN PROBLEMS.

    :grin:

    No because joblessness problems are less entertaining and not as easy to solve. Grown man love problems are fun though!

    So, Rodi, wanna talk about your love problems?? :yep:

  7. Posted

    Sadly it doesn't actually have anything to do with being a romantic, and more with being a teenager full of hormones. But that is ok because you'll grow out of it. Godspeed Speedy :)

  8. Posted

    Oh, I'm not talking about choosing between them. I just literally feel left abandoned by girl A. I know it's illogical but I'm only human.

    I'm frankly surprised it ever even got this far considering how things went the first time. Speedy, her telling you this is basically saying "HEY WELL THIS WAS FUN BUT I HAVE STUFF TO DEAL WITH OK BYE" and giving you an easy out. This is more than most people get! She's not abandoning you because, really, she was never with you. You just had a nice moment together; it's not sustainable, but you can keep the moment.

    So regarding Girl A you have two options:

    a) Say "oh well ok bye" and carry on with your life, leaving her to deal with her own shit by herself like a grownup (this will take a long time, DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU'RE THINKING 'I WILL LET HER DEAL WITH IT AND THEN GET WITH HER' BECAUSE THE 'THEN' IS MOST LIKELY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN BEFORE YOU FORGET ABOUT IT)

    B) Become embroiled in an endless spiral of uncertainty and drama that will make you feel like a super special emo snowflake and will certainly keep you busy and entertained, and give you lots to write about in your journal. (Don't do this. Just don't.)

    Regarding Girl B, what you have is a girl expressing her attraction to you. What do you do? You consider: are you attracted to her? Is she interesting, intriguing and stable? Do you like the idea of being with her? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes" then by all means ask her out and see if there's chemistry there and the interpersonal dynamic is fun and satisfying.

    Don't worry, it's really not as complicated as it seems.

    TL;DR what subbes said.

  9. Posted

    Kind of late to Big Bang Theory chat, but I wanted to show you this video: a scene from the show, with the laugh track removed, and the laugh track pauses also removed to make it less Lynchian (here it is with the awkward silences if you're into that sort of thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfFd_wOQsGQ )

    zS5a7RBB4vk

    I think this comment sums it up best:

    "Suddenly, the show becomes a drama depicting the everyday life of a man struggling with high functioning autism."

  10. Posted

    Really? I... um. My brain can't accept that. I cannot believe anyone would say those things without irony, or get televised saying it. I'm not using hyperbole here, I actually cannot believe it. You might as well have just told me that you laid a golden (made of horrible fascist gold) egg. Even if I saw the egg and a video of it coming out of you I still couldn't accept it. Or this.

    Yeah, sorry, it's true. She is a mind-boggling creature, that Victoria Jackson.

  12. Posted

    Three entire working bodies (I refuse to think of the "people" at these events as people) ceased to function last year in mall riots around here. I think it was something like 7 or 8 when the XBox 360 released.

    Aw man come on. At least one of those working stiffs was a security guy who got trampled when he opened the door, through no fault of his own.

  13. Posted

    What kind of drugs?

    On the flight to Serbia I took some kind of sleeping pill, and it made me claustrophobic and restless and anxious and made the hours pass like days. So obviously I'm doing it wrong.

  14. Posted

    Thanks everyone! Now off to harass webcomic people! I'll start with the toughest one of all: Kingzjester the Internet Angryman!

    :wtf:

    Psst, syntheticgerbil... you can get a 30% off Thumb Discount, if you want

  15. Posted

    It's time for The Holidays so I'm gonna obey the marketing imperative and plug my shit.

    I make needlefelted animals, like so–

    bats:

    all1.jpg

    the occasional alebrije:

    1.jpg

    etc:

    3.jpg

    I sell these things over here, to make a living.

    I'll soon be opening a new store where I do nothing but fanarts, but ideally only of things that I can actually get permission for and can give a small percentage to the characters' creators. I'll start with webcomics. Then I'll try for other things, like maybe indie video games. Then the wooorrrld

    Do you guys think people like Steve Purcell and Tim Schafer would be receptive to something like this?

  16. Posted

    This is confusing. Rodi's passionate outburst did not seem out of place to me at all. Especially following Mr Kingz's equally passionate rant. Also, the question of art was raised in Kingz's post when he complained that the video added nothing to our culture.

    I dunno, I didn't interpret it that way because personally I think something can be art and yet add nothing to culture. But that is a whole other :buyme: of :worm::worm: and let's just not go there.

    As a sidenote, it took me a day but I finally figured out what the hell Sal's avatar actually is. It's kinda tricky to parse, and funny.

    It's from my favorite tumblr ever! http://disneyfaceswap.tumblr.com/

  19. Posted

    Well, I didn't like it when Kingz got frustrated with it and others started judging it for what it wasn't trying to be, but I only got angry when someone [indirectly] called it a failure. I'm sure the creators didn't think it was a failure and are pretty happy with the end result, which is exactly what they set out to create.

    I mean, those really are some pretty high horses there.

    I gotta say I found it pretty funny in a bewildering sort of way when you exploded at an argument that no one was making.

    Anyway good for them for making a thing, I guess, even though it's difficult to see it as anything other than utterly pointless. More so than most things that people create, imo.

    Ok I'll admit that last sentence is unnecessary provocation sorry

  20. Posted

    It's not about pretensions of craft, it's about literally creating something. If someone created a life-sized AT-AT, I'd think it was damned cool, and I'd like to see it for myself. That's still reproducing something, but it's interesting.

    Yeah but like I sort of obliquely mentioned in my post, doing that would be taking a thing that one usually experiences on screen and taking it into a whole new context, where it can be experienced in real life. That is damn cool, if not entirely original.

    This is more the equivalent of painstakingly animating a scene from Star Wars by hand while making it look exactly the same as it does in the movie so you can't tell the difference between it and the actual movie scene.

    A quarter of million people saw this and most of them at least enjoyed what they saw or thought it was cool. But because it doesn't build towards the higher purpose of 'art', you call it a 'failure'. Here's a newsflash: most of the stuff anyone on earth creates has no cultural value or is even remotely art. Does that mean they shouldn't produce it, or even that it has no value, or worse yet, it's a 'failure'? That's ridiculous, and looking at the creative process through an extremely narrow scope.

    I understand your frustration from the point of view that you hate the hypothetical situation where a lot of 'geeks' will think this is indeed art. But that's not the fault of the creators, and even then it's your own hang-up that you'll have to deal with.

    It doesn't bother me whether or not it's art. In fact, I don't think anyone has even mentioned the term art besides you. What bothers me is that it offers nothing new in terms of experience. And what frustrates me is the fact that so much work went into that and they obviously have the skill to make something original and awesome, buuuut they didn't.

    And 'geeks' can think whatever we/they want, why are you so mad? :blink:

  21. Posted

    I don't know, if people appreciate it that's fine, I guess, but it does feel a bit like yet another example of culture disappearing down a pit of post-modern reference and self-reference.

    Yeah, that's what bothers me about it too. It's just recycling a piece of culture without changing the way we experience it or changing it at all. It feels really pointless, even in a way than fanart or references. It's hardly even changing its context in regards to the viewer, it just takes away interactivity which makes it even more boring.

  22. Posted

    I wanna post an excerpt from The Imperfectionists, which is an awesome book, and I feel this bit is relevant here:

    "In any case, I'm not afraid of it. Not in the least. You can't dread what you can't experience. The only death we experience is that of other people. That's as bad as it gets. And that's bad enough, surely. I remember when for the first time a dear friend of mine died. Must have been, what, 1947? It was Walter – he's in the book, the one who's always wearing his waistcoat to bed, if you remember. He got sick, and I abandoned him in Vienna and he died. I had a a terror of illness. I was petrified by – by what? Not of getting sick and dying. Even then, in an elementary way, I understood what death was at its worst: something that happens to other people. And that is hard to bear; that is what I couldn't face back then with Walter, what I've never been good at.

    But my point, you see, is that death is misunderstood. The loss of one's life is not the greatest loss. It is no loss at all. To others, perhaps, but not to oneself. From one's own perspective, experience simply halts. From one's own perspective, there is no loss. You see? Yet maybe this is a game of words, too, because it doesn't make it any less frightening, does it." She sips her tea. "What I really fear is time. That's the devil: whipping us on when we'd rather loll, so the present sprints by, impossible to grasp, and all is suddenly past, a past that won't hold still, that slides into these inauthentic tales. My past - it doesn't feel real in the slightest. The person who inhabited it is not me. It's as if the present me is constantly dissolving. There's that line of Heraclitus: 'No man steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.' That's quite right. We enjoy this illusion of continuity, and we call it memory. Which explains, perhaps, why our worst fear isn't the end of life but the end of memories. [...] Don't you find it striking? The personality is constantly dying and it feels like continuity. Meanwhile, we panic about death, which we cannot ever experience."

    I find it comforting. I hope you do too.

  24. Posted

    So communication has now completely broken down/disappeared between myself and the girl I mentioned a couple pages back. This makes me sad, but I guess it's a longer game? Pratfalls in the short term can lead to good things in the long, aye?

    The girl who stopped talking to you when she found out your age and then acted like nothing had happened? She's not talking to you again?

    Umm, maybe, actually, you should shift your sights elsewhere. Thunderpeel, you are right, but I don't know if one can actually consider this a long-term relationship at any point in its existence.