Violet

[Noyb]

take off clothes

[Ziggy]

Noyb> take off clothes

(first standing up)
You place your clothes neatly next to the cactus.

So now you're standing in your office naked, with a clamp on your nose and what looks like a furry three-legged space creature on your head. You also have a rancid-meaty bubble-gummy taste in your mouth, some smoke damage to your walls, and a lot to explain to Actual-Me.

You are ready to write now. I can feel it.

>

[Noyb]

masturbate. write.
#That shouldn't have taken three tries to find the right verb.

[Ziggy]

Noyb> masturbate. write.

You're going to have to use a different verb for me to understand what you mean.

>

[Noyb]

write.

[Ziggy]

Noyb> write.

(first sitting on chair)
You write two more sentences. I can tell you're feeling more confident. I knew you could do this. You conclude the first paragraph with an especially provocative participle. Then you hit enter and realise:

You have to pee.

Unbelievable. This must be an anxiety thing. You are killing me.

>

[Noyb]

pee in bottle. write.

[Ziggy]

Noyb> pee in bottle. write.

You do. Obviously I didn't watch. I'm disgusted but proud of your perseverance.

You write a second paragraph. Then you slowly peck out a third. It isn't your best prose, but that's not the point. You keep going. It's dark by the time you have a thousand words. Julia and the zombies have long gone, which you are thankful for when you need to run naked out to the car.

You rehearse what you want to tell me all the way home. Instead, there's a note on the door:

Gone. Sorry.

Violet

You had to have known I was going to leave you anyway. All the clues were there.

"SURPRISE!" thirty people jump up and shout when you open the door. Good thing you were covering your [bother] with the pages you wrote.

One hour and three drinks later, you aren't even that embarrassed. I pull you into the kitchen and kiss you.

"You said you wanted something twisted for your birthday."
"I was thinking more along the lines of you in peculiar lingerie."
"I spent much of today hyperventilating thinking it was too cruel."
"I figured out some important things today. So, at worst, it was an extremely instructive cruel."
"I'll still understand if you're angry."
"You're the one who's going to be angry. I have to tell you something about the snowglobe. And the trophy. And--"

I put my hand on your chest to stop you. "I've a confession that supersedes yours."

I open up my laptop and show you. On my screen is your office, as seen from the vent above the door.

Of course you're bewildered. I explain: "When I was hiding your birthday present, I rigged a camera up there. Not to spy! Or, not to spy like that. I needed to know when you were coming home for the party. I thought it would just be you at your computer. I didn't know you'd end up naked and peeing in a soda bottle."

"I spent the entire day imagining that you were watching me," you say. "Maybe it only worked because you actually were."
"Watching you break everything was maddening," I tell you, "but I'm still here. I understand, even. Sort of. So long as you understand that you're only getting store-bought presents for a while."

We've reached the hard part. "I'm committed to this, budgie. But I don't know what we're going to do with you."
"No, Violet. What are we going to do with you? My turn is done. It's the only fair thing."
"You've been miserable. You'll be happier this way."
"I'm already happier. Today made it so clear. This is not what I'm meant to be doing with my life. I know, I've spent six years in graduate school, I should be crying right now. Instead I feel wonderful. I love you so much."

Me too, wallaroo.

Three weeks later we are holding hands in the supereconomy section of a flight to Australia. My brother is lending me money to open a curiosities shop. He's found you a job at a comic book shop until you decide what's next.

* * *

I know it's not precisely Plan A, but we are happy and unstuck. This is winning. What now? I understand if you just want to QUIT now that the merry glow of victory is upon us. But you can also UNDO the last turn, RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, or (bonus!) view some of the so-called AMUSING things you might've missed.


>

[Noyb]

amusing
#

[Ziggy]

Noyb> amusing

Apparently a tradition in these games is that a victorious player is allowed to view a list of humorous things they may've missed on the path to triumph. While I remain nonplussed that a stranger has turned one of the more emotionally complicated days of my romantic life into a "text adventure" game, I've resolved to be a sport about it. Forthwith, then, let me review some possibly-overlooked highlights of our neuroses:

1. ABOUT, CREDITS, and COPYRIGHT were also written by Actual Me.

2. On your computer, you can OPEN BROWSER (multiple times), OPEN E-MAIL (ditto), and OPEN CHAT (eek).

3. Various commands commonly implemented in other games have their own responses here, including QUIT, BUY (something), SING, SCORE, SECRETS, TOPICS, TIME, SORRY, NORMAL, SHORT, VERBOSE, THINK ABOUT something, REMEMBER, CRY, WAVE, and the traditional magic word XYZZY.

4. After you SHAKE THE GLOBE, EXAMINE IT for a few successive turns and/or EXAMINE THE FIGURINE.

5. Some things you may have missed examining along the way: ME, JULIA (once she's around), LIQUID, GUNK, THREAD (then take something), GUM a second time, ZOMBIE (couple of times), PIRATE, CEILING, WALL, and FLOOR. Also, the notebook has several pages to READ and its lenticular cover changes messages when you examine it.

6. Some of the ways to achieve less happy endings to the game are to BURN PILE, insist on trying to OPEN DOOR once Julia is around, MOVE STOOL TO CORNER and STAND ON STOOL, MAKE LOVE TO JULIA, either EXAMINE BOOK too many times or carry the book too many turns, and THROW WASTEBASKET AT PEN.

7. Much miscellany, a few examples of which are LOOK UNDER DESK, SWALLOW GUM and KEY, DELETE BROWSER or CHAT, BURN COASTER/PLATYPOD/CACTUS, PUT SQUARE IN POUCH, OPEN VENT, ASK VIOLET ABOUT SOMETHING, PUT KEY IN PILE (after cable is in cabinet), RIP CABLE, do anything to the JACK, PUT things in NOSE, KICK something, CLIMB BOOKCASE, TAKE VIOLET, and SLIDE KEY UNDER DOOR.

8. As (bonus!) easter eggs, WARREN EGG presents all the Warren Tim Harried tracks, JULIA EGG presents all the main events across the hall, and PETNAME EGG greets you with one of my petnames.

I'm debuting a new line of stainless steel numbats at the shop and won't keep prattling. My husband has sworn off the Internet and so can't type this himself, but he wanted me to tell you hello and that, even though he's sometimes wistful about not finishing his Ph.D., it was plainly for the best.

Epilogically yours,
Violet

Now what, precious blueberry teacake? Shall we UNDO, RESTART, RESTORE, or just QUIT?


>

[Nachimir]

#This was an ace game.

[Erkki]

CREDITS
# yeah it was

[Erkki]

# oh well, it has died again. thankfully after the end this time

What next? Based on this game, I'd say we shouldn't do anything that new (for bugs), but there should be still lots of cool games from a few years ago or so.

[SignorSuperdouche]

I enjoyed that game loads, I'm a real sucker for romantic stories. I think I even laughed out loud once or twice whiich is something I never do.

I don't really know that much about IF (I played the Zork games back in the day but that's about it) so I'll trust someone else to pick the next one.