Review: Façade - Page 2

*Duncan* · 07-06-2005, 09:15 PM

Quote:

manny_c44:

I'm glad they save all of the scripts, I'm reading through them again and some of them are hilarious. Some excerpts from Gonzalo's visit (by the way has anyway, ever, anywhere, known a Gonzalo?)

Ha ha, those are great. I love that they save the scripts. You can't seriously choose 'Gonzalo', can you? Then again, the guy's called Trip. I've only played it twice, these is from my second one:

Quote:

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests.

BRIAN
SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS!

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, time for a drink. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Fabulous suggestion. I'll have the same.

TRIP
I served these at our last party, they were a smash.

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, please... let's not go overboard with the drink preparation.

TRIP
Uh, well, I'm just going to make you a Scotch.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Brian, how about something simple, like a nice glass of chardonnay?

TRIP
Oh come on...

BRIAN
SCOTCH, WOMAN1

Quote:

BRIAN
I LIKE GRACE BETTER

TRIP
Look, just quit taking sides, it's going to do more harm than good!

BRIAN
I LIKE TRIP LESS

GRACE
No, please stop taking sides, it's just going to make it worse!

TRIP
Look, let's switch the focus to Grace.

BRIAN
OBJECTION!

Quote:

TRIP
No, don't, don't -- don't even talk to me... uhh...

BRIAN
SOMEONE NEEDS A HUG

TRIP
Okay, that's it, no more of this bullshit!!

(BRIAN hugs trip.)

TRIP
Brian, I know what you're trying to hint at...

TRIP
about us...

TRIP
about our lifestyle...

TRIP
Do you two want the truth? Huh?

BRIAN
WHAT?!

Quote:

TRIP
Brian, I'm sorry. You really helped us though, so, thanks.

BRIAN
TRIP

GRACE
Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

BRIAN
STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE

(Trip closes the front door.)

GRACE
Trip!!

GRACE
Oh my God...

BRIAN
WHOOPS

GRACE
I should have told him that I...

GRACE
I -- I could have told him that...

BRIAN
THAT COULD HAVE GONE BETTER

Quote:

Is there any happy resolution to this scenario? If I don't get kicked out beforehand, it always ends in a break-up.

Apparently you can make 'em work it out, but I've never done it.

manny_c44 · 07-06-2005, 09:27 PM

Hilarious, this kind of abuse is exactly why games like GTA are so popular, everyone's is just like "screw the missions man, lets fuck shit up!"

Though the script isn't interesting, my character Brenda once got kicked out without saying a word...a couple minutes of molestation was all it took.

Makes me want to play it again...

*Duncan* · 07-06-2005, 09:29 PM

Quote:

manny_c44:

Hilarious, this kind of abuse is exactly why games like GTA are so popular, everyone's is just like "screw the missions man, lets fuck shit up!"

Oh yeah, exactly. In related news, don't ever go to this apartment in case of emergency.

Quote:

(Audrey knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Audrey!!

AUDREY
TRIP I'VE BEEN SHOT!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted)

AUDREY
HELP ME

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well come on in...

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

AUDREY
THERE WAS A MAN WITH A GUN

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

AUDREY
HELP ME I'M BLEEDING

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

AUDREY
TRIP

AUDREY
HELP

AUDREY
I'M GOING TO DIE

GRACE
Audrey,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long! -- (interrupted)

AUDREY
CALL 911

GRACE
Uh...

AUDREY
HELP

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

AUDREY
I'VE BEEN SHOT

AUDREY
NO

GRACE
Uh...

AUDREY
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

TRIP
What...? Audrey, I --

GRACE
Trip, that was just a well-intentioned little poke in the ribs between friends. That's all. -- (interrupted)

AUDREY
I WAS MUGGED

TRIP
Heh heh, Audrey, seeing you brings -- (interrupted)

AUDREY
I AM BLEEDING

TRIP
N -- no, uh, I've -- I've missed you.

AUDREY
HELP

TRIP
uh...

AUDREY
OH, FUCK THIS

TRIP
Ha ha! Oh I think we're going to need some drinks first if we're going to talk about sex.

manny_c44 · 07-06-2005, 09:54 PM

All of this script talk makes me think the scenario would be funnier if you were actually in a school play instead of the apartment. There would like 3 other people on stage and they'd be desperately clinging to the script while the player would go off on tangents, the more violent the crowd reaction the higher the points! or not

...anyway...

(Trip opens the front door.)

Quote:

TRIP
Espen!!

ESPEN
Greetings earthman.

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man!

TRIP
Well come on in!

ESPEN
I need samples

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

ESPEN
Tissue samples...anything.

GRACE
Espen,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? God it's been a while!

ESPEN
Let me pluck out a hair, fleshbag

(ESPEN hugs grace.)

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

ESPEN
success!

TRIP
W -- well, um, come look at this Italy photo!

TRIP
No, hold on. Now, Espen, what does this picture make you think of?

TRIP
In a word, what does this say to you?

ESPEN
...(wipes tear from eye)..home....

I'm not sure if that one's actually funny or if I'm sleep deprived.

*Marek* · 07-07-2005, 12:55 AM

Oh man, you can really choose from characters named Gonzalo and Espen? That's pretty hilarious! Does anyone know who Audrey and Brian might refer to?

*Duncan* · 07-07-2005, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Marek:

Oh man, you can really choose from characters named Gonzalo and Espen? That's pretty hilarious! Does anyone know who Audrey and Brian might refer to?

The names can't all be in-jokes, surely?

edit: there is a Jesper though.

and Genevra is a reference also.

Mailman · 07-07-2005, 08:18 AM

Quote:

TRIP
Gonzalo!!

GONZALO
Brains!

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well come on in...

GONZALO
Brains.

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(GONZALO sits on the couch.)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GONZALO
Brrrrrains.

Quote:

PHONE
** RING **

(GONZALO picks up the phone.)

PHONE
** RING **

PHONE
Hello? Hello?

TRIP
Gonzalo, no! Don't do that.

GONZALO
Brains!!

PHONE
Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother.

TRIP
Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice.

GONZALO
Brains!!!!!!

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

PHONE
I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click **

GONZALO
Brains?

(GONZALO puts down the phone.)

Playing as a zombie is fun.

brkl · 07-07-2005, 08:49 AM

I thought they just put a wide selection of names in, so the players could play as 'themselves'.

It's a shame the parser doesn't work quite as well as it could.

PETER
it's not either of your fault

TRIP
Ah!

GRACE
What? Peter, you're saying I'm to blame?

PETER
no

GRACE
What?

TRIP
See, Grace, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No?

GRACE
Oh, thank God you disagree, that helps! See, Trip, deep down, I've always been an artist.

TRIP
(little sigh)

PETER
neither of you is to blame

GRACE
Ah!

TRIP
What? Peter, you're saying I'm to blame?

PETER
no

TRIP
What?

Kingzjester · 07-07-2005, 09:31 AM

Quote:

TRIP
Audrey!!

AUDREY
TRIP I'VE BEEN SHOT!

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHH!!!

Kingzjester · 07-07-2005, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Kingzjester:

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHH!!!

Oh, man, still laughing...

fov · 07-07-2005, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Is there any happy resolution to this scenario? If I don't get kicked out beforehand, it always ends in a break-up.

I helped them work it out once. But the scenario turned out to be a lot less believable than when they broke up.

Trip had an epiphany that he was afraid of being poor, and Grace had an epiphany that she was afraid to be an artist and blamed her boring life on Trip, and then they made eyes at each other and thanked me for listening.

Like a frickin Lifetime special...

*Jake* · 07-07-2005, 02:16 PM

Is there more than one way they get back together? I would really like to see a horribly depressing dysfunctional "we've made up. no, no we really have. it will be great this time. things are going to be great." end. Somewhere in between great and terrible.

DanJW · 07-08-2005, 05:27 AM

Shortest game ever:

Quote:

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Dan!!

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! How are -- (interrupted)

DAN
did i hear arguing?

DAN
im good

(Trip closes the front door.)

DanJW · 07-08-2005, 06:03 AM

Sorry, had to be done.

Quote:

(Noah knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Noah!!

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! How are you doing, you look great!

NOAH
You may call me Lord Vader

TRIP
Yeah!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

TRIP
Well come on in!

NOAH
Bow before me fool

TRIP
Uh, n -- no, heh, come in!

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

NOAH
Bring the prisoner to me

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Noah,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time!

TRIP
Yeah, it has been a long time. -- (interrupted)

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful!

NOAH
Yes, I have a droid body now

GRACE
Oh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.

GRACE
So, Noah, ha, -- (interrupted)

(Trip closes the front door.)

NOAH
My home is the Death Star

TRIP
Yeah,

TRIP
if there's one thing Grace is really passionate about, it's her decorating...

GRACE
What? God,

GRACE
Noah, -- (interrupted)

NOAH
It has more metal than this apartment

GRACE
Yeah.

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

GRACE
Uhh, you know, everybody loves the view from our balcony...

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, it really cheers me up to stand here and look out...

NOAH
Deep space is better

GRACE
but I'd -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ah, see, I knew he would like it! I knew you would like it, everybody does.

GRACE
(little sigh)

GRACE
Uhh... I'm sure I can return most of this, and try to start over again on this room...

TRIP
There, see, Grace, n -- no one has a problem with your decorating, everything's fine!

GRACE
Well, I plan to return most of it anyhow. This room needs to be redone.

TRIP
(patient sigh)

NOAH
Your petty squabbles are pointless

GRACE
Noah, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have. H-mmm (happy smile sound)

TRIP
Ye -- yeah...

NOAH
Yes, burning wookies!

TRIP
(nervous coughing)

GRACE
uh...

NOAH
n that was

TRIP
that's, um...

GRACE
uuh...

TRIP
you, uh...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha...

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Noah,

NOAH
HA

GRACE
heh heh...

TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...

NOAH
HA

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh...

NOAH
My name is Vader

TRIP
mess with us ...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?

Later:

Quote:

TRIP
Goddammit, Grace!

NOAH
Use your anger

TRIP
Hold on, wait, what, y -- you're trying to explain this to me?

GRACE
What? Are you talking to me?

TRIP
I was not talking to you!

NOAH
It will make you powerful

TRIP
Noah, this is not normal, this has never happened.

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
Look, you -- you probably want to get out of here...

TRIP
Oh, Jesus... Christ...

GRACE
What? Are you trying to talk to me? -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Goddammit!

GRACE
uhh!

NOAH
Become my apprentice Grace

GRACE
Noah, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Noah, (annoyed sigh) Trip is sometimes so...

TRIP
Oh ho, so we're talking about me, are we?

GRACE
What?

TRIP
Noah, where are you going? Don't leave the -- (interrupted)

NOAH
together we can destroy Trip

TRIP
Okay, Noah, you know what? I think you should leave.

TRIP
I'm sorry, but, uhh, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

NOAH
Noooooooooooo!

Ryam BaCo · 07-08-2005, 09:07 AM

downloading it and looking forward how this will work out.

but - why, ohwhy - must the installer-file be so awful big?

*Marek* · 07-08-2005, 09:43 AM

I think because it's got a billion uncompressed wav files inside.

Ryam BaCo · 07-08-2005, 09:49 AM

brrr...cruel.

BaconIsGood4You · 07-08-2005, 12:12 PM

This is the longest "uh"s and laughing I've gotten.

Quote:

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

(Amy knocks on the front door.)

(Amy knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
What, Grace... this? -- (interrupted)

(Amy knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, she's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

(Amy knocks on the front door.)

(Amy knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, she's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Amy!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted)

AMY
Hi Trip.

TRIP
Yeah, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

AMY
How is it going?

TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in!

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Amy,

AMY
Hello Grace.

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted)

(AMY kisses grace.)

GRACE
Oh, yes,

GRACE
mm-wah! (kiss on cheek)

GRACE
How sweet.

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

AMY
Trip, I must tell you something.

GRACE
Uh...

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Amy, let me get you a drink. -- (interrupted)

AMY
I am gay.

TRIP
W -- wait, uh, uh -- we need drinks.

TRIP
So, what's your poison?

TRIP
How does a martini sound?

TRIP
I just got a hold of this rare imported Icelandic vermouth I want you to try!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, please... let's not go overboard with the drink preparation. -- (interrupted)

AMY
And I've been having an affair.

TRIP
(clears throat) Amy,

TRIP
Uhh, heh heh... yeah, -- (interrupted)

AMY
Grace and I are lovers.

(AMY kisses grace.)

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

GRACE
uh...

TRIP
you, uh...

GRACE
wha...

TRIP
you, um...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha, heh...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, Amy,

GRACE
heh heh heh...

AMY
Grace has been cheating on you.

TRIP
you're, heh, something else... heh... never afraid to...

TRIP
push our little buttons...

AMY
She loves me, not you.

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that? -- (interrupted)

(AMY kisses grace.)

TRIP
that was...

TRIP
What did you...

GRACE
should we...

AMY
We make love when you are away.

(AMY kisses grace.)

(AMY hugs grace.)

TRIP
Alright, Amy, that's it, you've got to leave.

(AMY kisses grace.)

TRIP
I'm sorry, but, uhh, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight.

(Trip opens the front door.)

(Trip closes the front door.)

AMY
Its the truth!

Quote:

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Olivia!!

OLIVIA
I've just been raped!

TRIP
Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)

OLIVIA
Oh my god Trip!

(Trip closes the front door.)

OLIVIA
Asshole!

Trip is a douchebag!

Quote:

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!

GRACE
What -- Trip, don't give me that look!

GRACE
You're going to drive me crazy!

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Trip...!

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Rich knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Rich!!

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted)

RICH
I'm RICK JAMES, bitch, not Rich!

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

RICH
Get outta' my way cracker!

GRACE
Rich,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? God it's been a while!

(RICH kisses grace.)

GRACE
Oh, yes, let's... (polite kiss on cheek)

GRACE
Rich, you're so sweet. -- (interrupted)

RICH
Oh its my favorite ho!

GRACE
Aw, H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!

GRACE
Make yourself at home, come on in!

RICH
Thanks bitch!

TRIP
Alright, Rich, that's it, you've got to leave.

TRIP
There's -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Okay, -- (interrupted)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We invited -- (interrupted)

TRIP
You

TRIP
We can -- (interrupted)

TRIP
I'm sorry, but, uhh, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight.

(Trip closes the front door.)

RICH
I'm so high..

Grace is my ho!

Tried being a Nazi, but they just ignored me when I called them Jews, called the SS, and repeated "Heil Hitler". Unfortunate.

brkl · 07-08-2005, 01:02 PM

I never knew smiles *sounded* like something until now.

*b0b* · 07-09-2005, 05:38 AM

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Jul 09 14 46 30 2005

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

WALTER
SUP NIGGERS!

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

WALTER
WALTER'S IN THA SHIZZLE!

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine...

(WALTER knocks on the front door.)

(WALTER knocks on the front door.)

(WALTER knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Walter!!

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted)

WALTER
s'up yo!

TRIP
Ha ha, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.

TRIP
So come on in!

WALTER
good to see you too trip!

TRIP
W -- well, heh, come in!

WALTER
thanks

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Walter,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long!

WALTER
hi grace

TRIP
Yeah, how -- (interrupted)

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

(WALTER comforts grace.)

GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

WALTER
thanks

GRACE
Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)

WALTER
what a nice flat!

GRACE
So, Walter, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, Grace, let's not do that.

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, when I look at this wedding picture, hanging here in this room...

TRIP
Yeah everyone notices it when they come in.

WALTER
it looks beautiful

TRIP
See, I told you he would like it! There's nothing wrong with it.

GRACE
(little -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate...

GRACE
Ha ha, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out.

GRACE
(little sigh) So about this wedding picture here...

GRACE
it obviously just does not -- (interrupted)

WALTER
i love art

GRACE
Uh, well, it doesn't go in this room, right?

TRIP
(little sigh)

WALTER
it looks fine

GRACE
Really?

TRIP
See, Grace, no one has a problem -- (interrupted)

WALTER
yes

TRIP
Walter, yeah, Grace, nothing's wrong, everything's fine!

GRACE
Huh, you two really are getting along well tonight, heh...

TRIP
Heh heh, Walter, seeing you again makes me remember the good times we all used to have.

GRACE
Yes...

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.

GRACE
What...

TRIP
We have to celebrate! Tonight's a special night!

GRACE
It is?

TRIP
Walter, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.

TRIP
Senior year of college!

GRACE
Oh... god...

WALTER
wow!

TRIP
Ha ha! So we really want to thank you for years and years of... -- (interrupted)

WALTER
so long ago

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, it's great you could be here tonight.

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Sounds good.

TRIP
Hmm!

GRACE
(little sigh)

WALTER
use the eight ball

TRIP
Oh that -- oh, that's just a little joke advice giver toy thing that I like to consult now and then...

TRIP
when I need a little guidance. Ha ha.

GRACE
His mother gave that to him.

TRIP
Stocking stuffer.

WALTER
got any wine?

TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute, heh!

GRACE
Uhh, Walter, please don't encourage him.

WALTER
sorry

GRACE
What...?

GRACE
Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend --

TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing.

TRIP
We're not disagreeing.

WALTER
how are things?

TRIP
Huh? No no no, we're good, no no, I'm good, everything's good...

WALTER
how is work?

GRACE
Oh, yeah, let me tell you about work! I'm the lead designer on a new project, heh.

TRIP
Our project.

TRIP
It was quite a coup when I brought this new account in. Print ads for bridal fashions.

TRIP
Very big.

GRACE
Trip's job is to use his 'charm' to woo the female clients. I suppose that's how he won this client.

TRIP
It's how I won you, -- (interrupted)

WALTER
jealous?

TRIP
Mmm...

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Huh, h, get real, heh.

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, this crazy thing, always giving me the wrong advice, heh.

GRACE
Trip, would you put away that goddamn -- (interrupted)

WALTER
that makes little or no sense...

TRIP
Okay, you know what, I'm getting tired of talking about this...

GRACE
Trip! What are you --

TRIP
No you two stay here and keep chatting about whatever, I need a break...

GRACE
Where are you going?

WALTER
trip!

TRIP
I'm just going to get something from the kitchen.

WALTER
my love!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

WALTER
now we can be alone...

GRACE
Um, Trip, if -- if it's at all convenient, could you --

GRACE
could you switch on the french souffle steamer for me? Just... Just set it to le pouf.

GRACE
Would you do that for me?

WALTER
oo souffle! myt favourite!

GRACE
Uhh, God, why does every conversation I have these days turn into a series of pathetic miscommunications...

WALTER
turn into souffle?

GRACE
(frustrated -- (interrupted)

GRACE
It's not like this kind of thing... happens... ha...

GRACE
You know, Trip has been a little... mmm... mmm... overbearing lately... this happens when he's stressed out about something...

WALTER
trip?

WALTER
stressed?

TRIP
Grace!

GRACE
Yes, Trip?

GRACE
Walter,

GRACE
what I really just need right now... is for you to just be my friend...

TRIP
What was that?

GRACE
What?

TRIP
Never mind... I can't find the brie. Where did you hide it?

WALTER
i am your friend grace

GRACE
Brie. We don't have any brie.

TRIP
What?! Grace, I specifically asked you to buy brie!

GRACE
I'm sorry, I forgot.

TRIP
Jesus, do you just not hear me when I talk to you? Just this morning I asked you to buy brie!

GRACE
Look, I'm sorry I forgot the goddamn brie, alright?

WALTER
no brie?

WALTER
I'm leaving...

TRIP
Uhh, God! What the hell has been going on in here?

WALTER
i was told there would be brie

TRIP
Heh... should I just go back to the kitchen?

GRACE
No, Trip, no, everything's fine, our friend is just teasing...

WALTER
YES AND GET ME BRIE CUNT!

GRACE
uh...!

TRIP
uh...

WALTER
sorry

TRIP
geez, I'm not, uh...

GRACE
uuh...!

WALTER
my bad

TRIP
you, um...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha...

TRIP
ha ha ha!

WALTER
i'll be quiet now

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Could you...

GRACE
that shouldn't...

(WALTER sits on the couch.)

TRIP
this...

WALTER
ok

WALTER
wine?

GRACE
He just...

GRACE
Before we forget... um...

GRACE
We need to clean the... uh...

TRIP
Right, yeah...

GRACE
that -- that electric socket in the -- in the hallway...

TRIP
we need to uh, drain it out, I think...

WALTER
you need to get me brie

GRACE
Oh, yeah, yeah...!

GRACE
(long release sigh)

WALTER
BRIE!

GRACE
yeah...

WALTER
BRIE!

TRIP
Oh no, Walter, I just realized... I'm sorry! -- (interrupted)

WALTER
BRIE!

WALTER
BRIE!

TRIP
Uh, well, uh -- we need drinks!

WALTER
yes

TRIP
Mmm...

WALTER
please, drinks

TRIP
So... can I make you one of my drink inventions?

WALTER
yes please

TRIP
So... can I make you one of my drink inventions?

WALTER
YES!

TRIP
So... can I make you one of my drink inventions?

WALTER
GIVE ME A FUCKING BOOZE!

TRIP
So... can I make you one of my drink inventions? -- (interrupted)

WALTER
BOOZE!

TRIP
So... can I make you one of my drink inventions?

WALTER
give me a drink you spastic

TRIP
So... can I make you one of my drink inventions?

WALTER
SPASTIC BRIE DRINK CUNT!!

WALTER
CUNT!

TRIP
Alright, Walter, that's it, you've got to leave.

WALTER
BRIE!

TRIP
We can put up with a lot, but we have our limits, you know?

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

*Yufster* · 07-10-2005, 08:19 AM

I win.

Quote:

(Trip opens the front door.)

AMY
OPEN UP FUCKERS

TRIP
Amy!!

(Trip closes the front door.)

*Marek* · 07-10-2005, 08:24 AM

Soooooo... does anyone actually play it for real?

Mailman · 07-10-2005, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Marek:

Soooooo... does anyone actually play it for real?

Kind of. I haven't been able to make them kiss and make up, though.

*Jake* · 07-10-2005, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Marek:

Soooooo... does anyone actually play it for real?

Err? Come now, Marek. Surely that's at least part of the point of Facade? Everyone here clearly knows the role the game wants them to play and is trying to go as far from it as possible. I suspect there are plenty of "for real" (sigh) scripts on everyones drive along with the insane ones, but why would they be posted here for others to enjoy. It's just not as immediately entertaining (unless you're Kieron Gillen, who posted an attempt at a serious/real/dramatic Facade script to his blog the other day).

*Marek* · 07-10-2005, 09:59 AM

Heh, I think you gave my comment way more weight than it was intended to have.

I wasn't making trying to make any value judgement of the stuff posted in this thread. I'm just curious if people had tried going along with the plot apart from testing the boundaries of the simulation, since so far I haven't been able to get it to a happy end.